There are many times in the bible when we are told to not be afraid, or some version of that. I am led to believe that ‘do not be afraid’ or ‘fear not’ etc occurs over 100 times.
But I am afraid. I am full of fear. I have severe anxiety and basically I am scared of everything. Maybe not in all obvious ways, but it’s there. All the time. I can’t make it stop.
So does that mean I have failed? Do I not believe enough? Probably not.
Are my fears and anxieties rational? Mostly, no. I worry about work, family, health and so on. The things that every person worries about at some point. I just worry about it all, all of the time.
I have been talking to a therapist to help with controlling my anxiety. It has helped in some ways, which I am thankful for. But I always turn back to God to help me. I even ask Him to help me do well with the therapy!
Sometimes at work I go to a quiet place to ask God to get me through my shift. I panic at work when I think I’m struggling with the day. I am afraid of failing to do my work.
If I’m at home with any of my family, I’ll go and hide in the bathroom when I’m anxious and pray to God to help me to not let it show.
I don’t know why I’m afraid, or why I get so anxious. I think that’s the worse part of it, there’s no reason for my fear for the majority of the time. Fear is bad enough, but irrational fear is crippling.
‘Do not be afraid.’ With his help and his presence, I will get there someday.
Words for today.
‘Have strength and be of good courage. Do not be afraid nor be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go’ Joshua 1:9
‘Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God’. Isaiah 41:10.
Dear Lord, it’s Me again 